8 Ways People Sabotage Themselves

This podcast will help you identify the ways that we can self-sabotage and not know it.   Get a pen and some paper and take some notes as you listen.  Yes it will!


For questions, comments or other information, you may contact me at:
Email:   coachlisagilbert@gmail.com  or coachlisa@nonontraining.com
Office Phone:  (954) 364-8871   or Cell:  (954) 470-9779





 ** Podcast Disclaimer:  Lisa Gilbert is  the CEO and Founder of No-Nonsense Training Solutions, Inc.  She is a Consultant to Public Safety  and other City and Corporate Entities.  She is an Organizational Solutions Strategist and Expert Training Facilitator and Professional Development Coach.   Coach Lisa is not a Licensed Therapist and any information shared in her Podcasts are for instructional and professional development purposes only.
 
©2023 Copyright No-Nonsense Training Solutions, Inc. 

Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast on all of the major podcast platforms!

For questions, comments or other information, you may contact me at:
Email:   coachlisagilbert@gmail.com  or coachlisa@nonontraining.com
Office Phone:  (954) 364-8871   or Cell:  (954) 470-9779

** Podcast Disclaimer:  Lisa Gilbert is  the CEO and Founder of No-Nonsense Training Solutions, Inc.  She is a Consultant to Public Safety and other City and Corporate Entities.  She is an Organizational Solutions Strategist and Expert Training Facilitator and Professional Development Coach.   Coach Lisa is not a Licensed Therapist and any information shared in her Podcasts are for instructional and professional development purposes only. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Hello, and welcome to No Nonsense Wisdom Wednesdays with Coach Lisa, where with every episode, I will give you strategies and insights that will make you uncommon on purpose. In this week's episode, let's talk about eight ways that people sabotage themselves. All right? Eight ways that people sabotage themselves. All right, you ready? Let's go. So, you know, this week I want to talk about something that I keep seeing with some people, whether personally or professionally, and it's where they're doing things that they are simply sabotaging themselves. And they're simply sabotaging their own quest for success. So this week, you know, I'm telling you and possibly warning you to please don't sabotage yourself, don't self-sabotage. So, so let me let me define the word sabotage for you. Sabotage is defined as an underhanded interference with production, with work, with plans or goals. It's an intentional undermining of a cause, of a dream, of a goal, of your vision, of your focus or an outcome. And it is done on purpose. Now, the way I've seen self-sabotage begin is when we lose sight of our why. You know, why are we doing what we're doing? And when we lose sight of purpose, when it starts to make no sense, when we feel like we're drifting and don't have any sense of direction anymore, that's when it's easy to begin to self-sabotage. Did that make sense to you? Did you hear what I said? You know, the assignment is no longer clear, and the work or the task that's been given for you to complete or carry to an end, it doesn't seem to hold any weight for you anymore. It doesn't get you up out of bed anymore. The purpose of the assignment, you know, it varies. It varies on the task or who's involved with it. But when it just doesn't move you anymore, you are in a key place for self-sabotage to begin. You know, see when it's a work assignment, you know, I think we understand what those kind of things have to do with your job. So there are some purposes or whys that simply have to do with the assignment of your job. Then there's another why that may be a personal why, a personal assignment, all right? And these are things that are important to you that you feel you must do in your personal life. However, when it's a life assignment, it has to do with the purpose and your reason for being on earth. You know, what you were created to do that will leave a legacy of some kind. It's a way that people will remember you. And with all of these assignments going on around you, you must beware of being sabotaged out of completing them. You know, because see, there's a greater outcome. So you must be on guard for distractions and the blockages and the life situations that will come to take you off course. And they'll take you way off course because you know what? You're just not feeling it anymore. So I just want to talk to you. I know it's gonna touch some people out there because, you know, as I was putting this together, I realized that this topic could go very, very deep. You know, I might need to do another segment or two, but I just wanted to get started on this because it just started to really concern me that I'm seeing people self-sabotage. So there are a few things I want you to consider, all right? Um, so before I dive into the eight, listen, please understand that some of the ways we sabotage ourselves are conscious and some are unconscious. Now, the conscious sabotage has more to do with you knowingly not wanting to do something or you're fighting against something you know you want to do. Did you hear what I said? See, you did it today. I know you you you willingly fought against something you know you need to do, you knew you need to get it done, you knew the assignment was due, but you just didn't want to do it for one reason or another. Uh-huh. All right. Now, the unconscious, though, is where we don't see what we're doing to hurt ourselves. We don't see it. We don't see what we're doing to our hurt ourselves or others. And the unconscious sabotaging behavior can actually be excused or brushed away, or you know, it's just people not thinking right and seeing right, or they just don't understand. See, it can be brushed off because we don't see what we're doing, or what we're doing unconsciously is agreeing with wrong voices. We keep agreeing with fear and doubt, and we try to explain it away, or it's anger and other triggered reactions keep stopping us from moving towards the assignment the right way. So even when we try to dismiss the action, let me tell you something. Actions never lie. They show us what's really going on. They really do. And that but I want you to be aware when someone keeps bringing something to your attention and you hear this from several other people, you need to pay attention to this because you might be doing something to hurt yourself and hurt your assignment. You might be doing things to self-sabotage. So please don't dismiss that. All right. So let me give you these eight ways. Let me go because I can feel, I see you over there squirming and I see you getting mad right now, but you're gonna be all right. You're gonna be all right because Coach Lisa is here to help you. All right. So here are some ways that you can actually be sabotaging yourself right now and not even know it. You ready? Okay, I want you to pay attention. Pay attention to write it down. And listen, if it's not you, you can send it to somebody else. However, before you go pointing around at other people and thinking about other people, I need you to look at yourself. I had to look at myself too. So here's number one. Number one of eight ways we can self-sabotage. You know, you can self-sabotage yourself and stop yourself from completing assignments or completing the purpose or getting through the why by simply choosing to be stuck in comfortable or familiar places right there. Familiar roles, familiar tasks, familiar duties, familiar people, familiar surroundings. Uh-huh. You want to do all the things that are safe. You go to the same store, go to the same this, do the same that. Familiar. But let me tell you something. Familiar can be dangerous because it makes you feel like you're being productive when you're really not. Did you hear what I said? Uh-huh. I call it familiar functioning. And it's where you're doing what you know you can do, and you can do it in your sleep. And you know, you feel that this is what you really should be doing, and no one can talk you out of it. Why? Because you you see some kind of result, you think you're making some headway, you see the outcomes, and to you, they look great, but you might be sabotaging yourself and you might be getting yourself stuck. You know, it here's what you when people say things like, Hey, I thought you would have been like taking that promotion by now. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Or, hey, I thought you had completed that by now. Or, hey, I heard that you had moved on and did could it be possible? I said, could it be possible? Don't get mad, just breathe. Just just hold on and breathe. See, but you're still where they found you, stuck and comfortable with familiar. Mm-hmm. You might be self-sabotaging. Here's another way. Here's a second way that people self-sabotage. Yeah, listen, you can self-sabotage an important assignment or your why by being apathetic and unconcerned about the assignment. Yep. Your apathy and your lack of care means you don't see the importance of the why anymore. You don't see the importance of the assignment anymore. And maybe, well, you know what? Maybe it was not what you expected or wanted it to be. Yeah. Maybe things just didn't move fast enough for you. Uh-huh. Maybe you wanted more than what you see right now. And you're just kind of tired of it all. But can I tell you something? You know, um, sometimes we want bigger, but we haven't handled smaller yet. I'm gonna say it again. See, you can want big things, but can you handle the small things? You know, there's wisdom that says, you know, if you can be faithful in the smaller things, then you know, then God can entrust you with the bigger things. But see, if you won't even handle the smaller, yeah, then you aren't ready for the bigger. You know, there there's a saying that says, do not despise small beginnings. Did you hear what I said? Don't despise that. Because, see, there's more to come with it, but this is wisdom telling you, handle this well, and then more will come. See, a lot of people want big and they look down on what they consider to be small. Yeah, they look down on it and they think it's insignificant, they think it can't do anything, they think small doesn't build, they think small doesn't uh increase. But let me tell you something. Ants, very small creatures, do a whole lot of building. Yes, they do. They make a lot of things happen. So small is the beginning. Small carries big weight, all right? And so an ant, as small as it is, is not insignificant. So listen, you know, when you can lead one person, you can do great things. Did you hear me? If you have a some kind of thing where you feed the homeless, feeding one person a week consistently can lead to bigger things. Uh-huh. Leading a small team and leading them well can lead to something greater and something bigger. See, starting small and going big is the best way to learn the mistakes. It's the best way to learn and recover from them. So starting small helps develop you in ways you can never imagine. Did you hear me? So, what you're looking at right now, let me tell you something. And if this one hit you, what you think is small is the greatest opportunity for you to be great. I'm gonna say that again. What you see as small is the greatest opportunity for you to be great in your assignment, in your purpose. Do not despise small beginnings, all right? Okay, so number three, you can self-sabotage an assignment or your purpose by using blame when you refuse to take ownership of the assignment. Mm-hmm. You want you don't want to take ownership of it, and you don't want to take ownership of everything that goes with it. Did you hear me? Listen to me. When parents want to blame a system instead of being a better parent, that's a whole problem for me. Yeah, you need to parent better. Oh, I know. I touched it. I know, I know, I know. We can't blame the system for our children. We got to be better parents. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. When wives or husbands blame the other for not being a better spouse, then what needs to happen? Somebody needs to go and start being a better spouse. They need to learn how to do that. When a supervisor or manager or leader wants to blame the entire team instead of stepping up to be a better leader, we need to look at it differently. When employees blame others instead of looking at their own behavior, you know what I noticed? I've noticed the most difficult employees are always blaming somebody else. Did you hear what I said to you right there? And they self-sabotage every time because they can't see the error of their own ways. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. So they're blaming other people. You know, see, we've simply missed the mark. And instead of taking responsibility, instead of stepping up to do better, we start blaming and we start complaining. We complain about not having the resources. We complain about not having enough training. We complain that we don't have all the opportunities. I'm telling you, I hear people complaining about that all the time. Mm-hmm. We complain. Or we complain about how hard the assignment is for us. Yeah. We blame everything on everything else, but we never take time to stop and look at ourselves. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We want to blame others because we never asked for this assignment or we never wanted to do this. Blame because you just don't want to accept responsibility. Mm-hmm. Did you hear me? I know. I just want you to stop for a minute and pay attention and just listen to what's being said. Yeah. So you got to be careful when you're blaming and pushing away responsibility because you refuse to see areas that you need to develop in. Listen, none of us are perfect. I have a coach. I have people around me to hold me accountable. I have people around me to help push me past these hard places that keep me from self-sabotaging. And you need the same thing. So when you think, when you when you think that way, when you think that um everybody else is a problem and you're not, you're you're a dangerous person walking and you're dangerous to yourself. When you choose to blame and not take ownership of the assignment, then you can sabotage your whole purpose. Listen to me. Stop crying, stop whining, stop pointing fingers, own up to your responsibility, step into your purpose and do what you gotta do. All right. So here's number four. Here's the fourth way that people self-sabotage themselves. Listen, people self-sabotage themselves in their assignment by being overly concerned about things that are not important. Did you hear what I said? They are so overly concerned about things that are unimportant. Some things are just simply not important at the moment that you make them important. They're not important right now. You don't need to be worried about them right now. Listen, when you have something to do, uh-huh. You can't let other people's opinions of you matter more to you than what you gotta do. You just can't do that. When you have something important to do, you can't let what other people think and how they think you should do it matter to you. You need to do what you know to do and do it well. Did you hear me? Yeah. Wait, when you're in this place, you can't let other people's thoughts and ideas take you so far off course that you can't see anymore. See, that's what happens. You listen to too many voices. Yeah, you you took too many ideas off the wrong people. Yeah. And now you're being overly concerned about things that are unimportant. Don't self-sabotage. Be careful. Okay, here's a fifth way that people can self-sabotage. Listen, you can self-sabotage yourself by trusting the wrong people or the wrong persons. Yeah. Trusting them to help you, trusting them to give you information, trusting them to show you what to do. Let me tell you something. They've even shown you that you can't trust them. They've shown you that more than one time, and yet you trust them anyway. See, this is a surefire way to sabotage your purpose, to sabotage the assignment, you know. And another way is when you're simply thoughtless and careless about things. See, remember, remember when you're apathetic? Apathy will make you not think about things that you need to think about. And you know what? It tends to even, you know, even when you do think about it, you just do it in this very thoughtless, cavalier, uncaring manner. You are self-sabotaging. Okay? Here, here. I just I just got a few more. I'm almost done. Look, number six, the sixth way that you can self-sabotage is when you use avoidance tactics. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When you avoid important conversations that you need to have. Yeah. And when you avoid the people that you need to have them with. You know, and the thing about it is you're avoiding people that really can help you. You know, you avoid them because, you know what, they they might ask you some hard questions to try to hold you accountable. Uh-huh. Yeah. They're going to try to hold you accountable to the assignment. They are supposed to do that. Or you avoid taking action on things because, you know what, you believe you got more time. And so you start procrastinating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you procrastinate until you have no more time. Then everything is just a fire, all right? And then you just throw something together and you thoughtlessly put it out there and it's not good. Yeah. You're avoiding. You're not taking this seriously. You know, you avoid uh constructive criticism that can help you because in your ears, it sounds like people are attacking you when they're really not. Did you hear what I said? See, when you're in this place of self-sabotage, you can't hear right, you can't see right, you can't think right. It's just nothing because you think people are coming against you when they're not. And you know what? You avoid the very people that have the answers because you just don't like them. Did you hear me? Somebody told me that the other day. Coaches, I just don't like them. Well, let me tell you something. What does that mean? I'm like, did they do anything to you? Like, they were like, no, they haven't done anything to me. I just don't like them. But they don't even know you, and you don't even know them. Did you hear what I said? I'm talking to somebody, I'm talking to you. Mm-hmm. They haven't done, they haven't even done anything to you. And they don't even know you like that. But you don't like them and you avoid meeting with them, you avoid talking to them, and you want to resist their help. Listen, you are self-sabotaging that assignment. Yes, you are. Stop doing that. Get yourself together, suck it up, and go talk to them. They have the very answer that you need. Somebody's gonna email me and tell me that this made sense to them. I'm waiting. I'm gonna wait for it. Uh-huh. I'm waiting for it. Number seven, the seventh way people self-sabotage. You will self-sabotage your assignment and your purpose when you keep giving away important information to the wrong people. My Lord God. When you keep giving information to the wrong people, when you give away too much time to the wrong people, yeah, time thieves. Yeah, they eat up all your time and give you nothing back. When you give money and other resources to the wrong people, they keep borrowing, they keep borrowing, and you get nothing back. You are self-sabotaging. When you give to people that you know are manipulating you, when you give your wisdom and your talent to the wrong people, you are self-sabotaging. But see, to you, it will look like you're helping them. And to you, it will look like they really need you. See that, yeah, yeah. You need to stop that and you need to stop it right now. Coach Lisa said it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. And here's here's the last one. I know it's more, but I'm gonna stop right here. The eighth way that people self-sabotage, you will self-sabotage your assignment and your purpose by having wrong expectations. Oh my goodness. And see, and and when those wrong expectations aren't met, then everything else, you know, everything else just gets bigger and and just gets harder for you. Yeah. See, it gets to where it seems like nothing is working. It seems like you've wasted your whole life doing something. But did you have the right expectations? See, you need to have right expectations in order to truly handle your assignment and your purpose well to get success, to have the outcome that you're looking for, to leave a legacy, to be an influence that God put you on the earth to be. Did you hear me? So you gotta have the right expectation for that. There's a reason that the Lord put you here, there's a reason that you're on the earth, but you have to have the right expectations. They have to be really realistic expectations. You know what? You might need to go back and ask God, what's his expectation? Because, see, yours needs to line up with his. Uh-huh. I said it. I said it. See, you know, some people have set such high, unrealistic, and I'm gonna say self-serving expectations for themselves when that's not the reality. Oh my, my, my. Yeah, yeah. We're here, we're not just here to be selfish, we're here to serve others in some way, shape, or form. So, you know, when you have these expectations and they're not met, then people get angry, um, they start fighting, they become toxic, and they begin to hurt themselves and other people. Yeah, their behavior just changes because the expectations didn't line up the correct way. Uh-huh. So, see, I talked about these, I talked about these eight different ways. So, listen, so the ability to sabotage yourself in your assignment is very real and it's very prevalent. I'm just seeing it all the time. So, I want to make sure that you're not doing things. So, what do you need to do? Number one, don't allow comfort to trick you that all is well. Familiar is dangerous, okay? Familiar is dangerous, all right? Number two, don't allow apathy to take over. You need to have people around you that can give you ideas and can shake you up out of that low place. People that can that can, like, you know, call you on the carpet if necessary. Uh-huh. They'll make you mad, but I'll tell you what, they won't let you self-sabotage. That's right. They won't. Number three, stop blaming and take responsibility for your own actions. Listen, nobody owes you anything. I'm gonna say it again. Nobody owes you anything. Nobody. You need to look at your own assignment, you need to look at the purpose that you have and whatever it is and make this thing work. Get up. You have what you need already. So get up and let's go in. And you know what? When you do, when you stop complaining and blaming, other people start to see you differently and they begin to trust you, and then they're willing to help you, and then you'll see you'll see more productivity. But but when you're not, you know, when you're not, but you're always pointing at other people and sulking and crying and whining, people won't help you. Stop it. You quit that and you get back up. Number four, get your priorities straight and focus on what is important and stop with the unimportant time wasters. Stop with these things that make you feel like you're gaining momentum, but you're not. You're simply wasting time and you are self-sabotaging. All right. Number five, pay attention and stop trusting the snakes and the sharks. Did you hear what I said? Stop trusting these toxic people. Stop bypassing the red flags, telling you to not trust them, yet you do it anyway. Stop being so nice and passive about everything. People only do what you let them do. You are allowing them to cause you to self-sabotage. Listen, they have bitten you more than once. Did you hear me? They have bitten you more than once, they have slammed you and shamed you more than once. Stop letting them do this to you. Stop it. All right. Number six, stop avoiding the unpleasant. Stop the avoidance. The sooner you get it done and get it out of the way, it's done. Get some boldness and have the conversations you need to have. You may find out, you know what, you may find out that it's not as bad as you thought it was gonna be. Get to it. Number seven, stop giving to the wrong people, stop helping the wrong people, stop sharing with the wrong people, stop giving your resources to the wrong people. Stop it and stop it right now. And last, set realistic expectations. And you know what? And be willing to adjust them if necessary. All right. So listen, that's all I gotta say. I know it was long, you know, but but you needed to hear that. You needed to hear all of that. And you know what? You need to go back and listen to it again. And let me tell you something. If you will remember these things, you will never self-sabotage again. I can guarantee you that because now you know what to look for, and you will never unconsciously do these things. There may be other things you do, but it won't be this, all right? Okay, so I'm done with that. It's Coach Lisa signing off. I want to let you know, yes, I am a coach. And um, you can send me an email at coach Lisa at no nontraining.com, or you can call me. My telephone number is 954-470-9779. And yes, I respond to all my emails and phone calls. So give me a call. I help people see what they need to see and do what they need to do and hear what they need to hear so they can be successful and get things done on a daily basis. So if you need some help right now, you need to give me a call or drop me an email. All right. Okay, that's it. That's it. Now you go and you have an amazing no-nonsense day. And be careful, do not self-sabotage. I give you eight ways you can do it, but I don't want you to do those. I want you to do the opposite. All right, take care, and I'll talk to you next time. Bye-bye.